My first bdsm encounter with a woman was a failure. She spanked me hard and I felt only pain. And yet I’ve been tormented by guys and it turns me on.
What is going on?
Pesephone‘s blog about subspace says that pain become pleasure when the bottom attains subspace. She writes: “Entering subspace fully requires that a person really and deeply lets go” .
I went to M’s dungeon and she started to spank me like guys do. I freaked out. Maybe my encounter with M didn’t work as planned. Persephone goes on to say:
things to prioritize during the search for subspace are:Comfort – pick an environment that makes you feel relaxedTrust
And making sure the scene revolves around your turn-ons
Maybe I wasn’t comfortable in M’s dungeon? Maybe I didn’t trust her? And yet I encouraged her to peg me and it was a big turn on.
So tomorrow we’ll meet at a public dungeon that we’ve both been at a lot. We’ll try to get into the spanking I was afraid of. The dungeon will have a DM so things don’t get out of control. Maybe all the right things will be in place and I’ll get a glimpse or even a small taste of subspace.
Because…if there is no pleasure from the pain…why continue this way?